On Tall Tales

Prompt: "What do you think of people who tell tall tales that are meant to entertain but not deceive?"

It depends on what's meant by "tall tale". Are you legit telling me an actual made-up story and presenting it as a work of fiction or are you exaggerating something from your life that I'm expected to accept as fact even if there's no earthly way it could possibly be true? I'm going to assume for all intents and purposes that it's the latter.

People that tell tall tales (a la Edward Bloom in Big Fish) honestly really irk me. I grew up around pathological liars that you couldn't trust to tell you the truth about anything. Sometimes the lies were malicious, but other times it was just about making something sound better or more exciting than it really was. My brother in particular really made a habit of this and would often lie just for the sake of lying. You took him at his word at your own peril because there would always be facts left out and other facts embellished at the very least. Every so often a story he told you would be a lie from beginning to end.

Writing Lab: Tell or Be Told

Prompt: "Do you like to observe things for yourself, or do you prefer people to tell you things?"

I prefer to observe things for myself. I don't trust other people's ability to be observant enough to paint an accurate picture of something that's happened. I really don't trust others not to embellish or twist facts to suit agendas of their own. Far too many people get creative when telling stories because they want to look like a hero or seem better than they actually are.

When I really want or need to know something specific, I probably don't have the time or the patience to sort through whatever was said and make guesses as to how much of it was bullshit. I want to know the facts so I can get right to work making decisions, writing articles, or whatever else I may be looking to do based on the situation. If I do my own homework and make my own observations, I never have to doubt the reality of the situation, as I trust myself implicitly.

On Living Authentically

Life has made me a huge believer in living authentically. I've just known far too many people that turned out to be something other than they made themselves out to be to feel otherwise. Really, there's private and then there's intentionally deceptive. There's not wanting to tell people things that quite simply aren't any of their business and there's keeping things from other people that they legitimately have a right to know.

I remember when social media was first becoming a thing. I hopped on the bandwagon just like everybody else and I fell immediately in love with the way I was no longer stuck playing the same old roles I'd always been cast in offline. For the first time ever, I was free to be absolutely anything and anyone I chose... and I guess that's when I finally discovered that the person I most wanted to be was myself. It was just so freeing. I no longer had to be that silly, over-dressed, perfectly polite princess other people had always expected me to be. I could have opinions. I could fucking cuss, dammit. I could just go ahead and be every bit as writerly and nerdy as I wanted to be and no one was going to try to stop me. It was a really liberating experience.

Thoughts on Candidness, Self Esteem, and Pride in One's Self

I am realizing that I actually know a disproportionate number of folks who live their lives in a state of shame about one thing or another. However, this wasn't something that became clear to me until relatively recently.

I grew up knowing more than a few people who had this sort of attitude. Also, I'm a bit of a late bloomer who is so introverted, I make actual recluses look social. This means that my span of experience with other people was relatively limited for most of my life. Therefore, if I grew up around it, it seemed normal to me until I had one of the many "oh shit" light bulb moments that have characterized my 30's so far.

I've always been a pretty staunch champion of honesty and openness for the most part. Yes, I can be very private. However, I will almost always simply decline to expound upon parts of my life I don't care to have people knowing about. I won't lie or make up stories instead. I won't "technically" tell the truth, but knowingly try to give someone the impression that I'm someone I'm not or that my life is something that it isn't either. If other people don't like something about my personality or my choices in life, then I consider that to be their problem, not mine. If I myself am ashamed of something about myself or my life, then I change it... so I can look my own self in the eye every day, not because I want other people to like me more or something.

If someone gives me credit for something I didn't do, I correct them and tell them who they should be giving credit to. If someone has what I consider to be an unrealistically grandiose impression of what I do for a living or of something specific about my life, I put things in perspective for them. If someone takes one look at my baby face and assumes I'm still 25 or something, I tell them my real age.. or at least mention that I'm a lot older than I look if I don't feel like giving a number. It makes me really uncomfortable not to for whatever reason. If there's one thing that life has taught me though, it's that this is not something enough people I know actually do. I don't know if it's just too difficult for them or what, but they just let people think they're younger than they are... or more successful than they really are. In some cases, they allow people to go on for years with a completely false impression of who they are as people.