Not that long ago, someone posted a screencap of an interaction from Medium's private note function to one of the writing groups I belong to. The screencap showed a polite, very standard rejection note from the editor of one of Medium's bigger pubs. And below it was a horrible, vitriolic response from the writer basically cussing the editor out and telling him to go fuck himself. As a writer who writes and submits many places, Medium included, that shocked the shit out of me -- all that anger triggered by someone saying they'll pass on a piece this time but are looking forward to reading future submissions.
I am familiar with the publication in question and that editor, so I can certainly say he was the last person who deserved to be spoken to like that. This editor found a self-published Medium piece of mine last summer and encouraged me to let him add it to his publication. The owner of the pub then championed that article and promoted the holy heck out of it. The original editor also continued to leave me kind, encouraging notes when it did well.
That piece became my highest earner, and I owe that to the team behind that pub. This particular editor is also among the friendliest and most considerate I've ever interacted with on Medium. He's always cool about it when he does decide to reject a submission, and he's a total professional. So the writer who told him off really stepped in it, as Medium editors tend to know one another and talk behind the scenes. If you want to get ahead as a writer -- on Medium or anywhere else -- don't be like that writer. Be gracious, be teachable, and keep points like the following in mind.
Rejections are normal, common, and happen to everyone.
Listen, I get it. It never feels good to work up the courage to show your work to someone and ask them to publish it only to have them say they're not interested or, worse, to rip it apart. But it comes with the territory when you hope to be published by someone other than yourself. Even writers like Stephen King have stories about the many rejection letters they've gotten over the years, so yes. It really does happen to everyone.
And it will continue to happen to you throughout your writing career. My content has a much higher acceptance rate at this point than it did at first, but I definitely still get rejected. It's never because my writing is terrible or the piece is somehow unpublishable. Sometimes something I wrote just isn't the right fit or might not be what an editor is looking for at that immediate moment. Other times, they're just not feeling it for some other reason. It happens.
Every so often, editors take the time to go into detail about why they're rejecting something. Other times they don't. Sometimes, especially when you're talking about massive publications where editors are crazy busy all the time, you don't get a response at all. All of these things are normal, common, and important to get used to. I assure you that even if it feels personal at times, it's anything but.
Feedback is valuable, and you should treasure it when you get it.
When an editor does take the time to give you feedback on your work, be grateful. As I said, many editors aren't able to respond personally to every submission they get, and when they can, they probably don't have time to enlighten you as to why they're rejecting it if that's the case. Some will let you know, and you can use what they tell you to better tailor future pieces to their publication's needs.
And eventually, you'll probably find you're still not quite there yet, but the editors you approach like your work enough to be willing to work with you on it. Don't take their criticism as a negative. This is something you want because it means you're on the right track. Listen to every word they say because they're letting you in on precisely what they're looking for. Make the changes, and keep the suggestions in mind for the next time you offer work to that particular publication.
I know it's easier said than done to make friends with criticism and learn to accept rejection without taking it personally. A writer's work is personal to them, and it takes a lot of courage to put it out there in the first place. When someone you offer it to doesn't like it or want it, it doesn't feel very good. But you do get used to it. Eventually, you really do realize that it's not something to be discouraged by, and it stops getting you down when it happens.
Courtesy and graciousness go a really long way.
If life's taught me anything, it's that there's no such thing as "too gracious" when dealing with other people. Kindness and politeness always work in your favor. I don't care if you're interacting with the person scooping your ice cream at Baskin Robbins or dealing with an editor who just got done red-penning your work beyond belief. It works so well because it's rare.
Many people have the knee-jerk reaction to do what that one writer did and tell the editor off or ghost them in response to being asked for revisions. Or else I see them slide into the writing groups on Facebook to vent about their experiences without realizing that the people they're complaining about are either in the group or close with people who are. If you respond graciously and professionally, you're already setting yourself apart from everyone else in all the right ways.
Always thank editors for their feedback and time, even if you ultimately decide to pull your piece or not to go ahead with revisions they may have requested. Be professional. Be courteous. They'll remember that and appreciate it going forward. The writing world is a lot smaller than you might think, so you don't want to burn your bridges with anybody in particular. Build them instead. I promise you'll be glad you did.
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