On Feeling Like the Ghost of a Blogger and a Life Update

Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson in Howards End (1992)

So a word to the wise aspiring writer. Don't take breaks from any of the things you're out there doing to build your brand and get your name around. A little break can so easily turn into a long one, and before you know it, you've lost a lot of the progress you made over all those months you worked so hard. I feel a little thin right now -- like the ghost of a blogger -- and I'm not sure I like it.

Today was the first day in a long while when I haven't needed to spend my entire productive day working on freelance assignments, so I've been attempting to catch up on things like Medium posts, items on my personal to-do list, and social media tasks. Coming back and posting something new to Medium especially felt really weird, and it's clear that I've got my work cut out for me as far as getting my traffic back up where it used to be. The single-digit views on that poor article from earlier were depressing, to say the least.

It felt really good to actually write something for myself again besides entries to my private journal that no one has access to but me, though. It was also nice to spend some time on video lectures, umpteenth watchings of old beloved movies like Howards End, and a little bit of pleasure reading, to boot. (I'm currently reading Their Eyes Were Watching God.) I need more little pockets of time like the ones I enjoyed today, and today was a valuable reminder of that. 

I wasn't going to take a long weekend for President's Day, as I was worried about falling behind at work. But most of my clients are taking it, so I don't have much on my plate right now and may as well take an extra day off, too. When I mentioned that to Seth, he said I need to take better advantage of working for myself and enjoy the same holidays everyone else gets. When he's right, he's right.

........

As far as other things that have been going on, the biggest was probably a visit to the emergency room a few weeks ago for assorted troubling symptoms, including debilitating pain in my side. I turned out to have a massive ovarian cyst that was causing me all sorts of trouble. I wound up having it (as well as the associated ovary) removed via a laparoscopy -- my very first surgery ever.

The recovery process was rough for a while, but at this point, I'm more or less back to doing all my normal stuff. I can cook, bake, do my workouts, and motor around the house just like I used to do. And I feel so much better now that that cyst is gone. I'm a good deal thinner without it, as well, so I've been having fun buying new clothes and just plain feeling like I have a proper lady's shape again. 

I've also started exploring the wide, wonderful world of investing since I last updated here. I can't say I've made much money to speak of doing that right now, as the market is all over the place, but I feel like a proper adult now. I'm learning a lot. I don't have to feel left out anymore when I see all my peers talking about what stocks they like and which cryptos they're holding. I'm excited about becoming better at investing in the future. It's all really pretty cool.

And did I mention I started learning Russian just after the start of the new year? I've always wanted to tackle a language that features an alternative alphabet, and now I'm finally doing it. This is my 15th learning language so far, and I'm just so proud of everything I've accomplished on that front. I will always wish I'd started pursuing things like that a lot earlier in life, but better late than never. The best anyone can do is start with the now that's in front of them and take it from there, I guess.

So life is far from perfect for me these days, but I've been enjoying the process of being alive and human -- challenges and all. As the days get warmer and everything begins to turn green again, I can kind of feel myself waking up and getting excited about getting back into the swing of certain things. It's a good feeling indeed.