Keeping On, Writing On

And the adventures continue as far as writing goes, mostly to my delight and advantage. I'm not quite sure where we're standing at present with all the AB-5 stuff, but supposedly there are some changes coming up that will end a lot of the hassle, at least for writers. In particular, that ridiculous 35-article cap is supposed to be done away with, and some of the ambiguous language is set to be clarified. I'm hoping that will mean I can stop stressing over this soon and go back to writing for a living in some kind of peace.

Thankfully the initial BKA termination that hurt so badly was the only full-on firing I personally had to deal with. One of the two newer platforms I joined and had been using eventually did have to limit us to 35 articles per year per client just to play it really safe. However, they also made it crystal clear they were planning on supporting California writers through all this, and they said they'd remove the limits as soon as they possibly could.

That will probably happen within the next couple of weeks or so when the amendment goes through, and I'm eagerly looking forward to it. I really love that platform, and I'm hoping to be able to write there more often in the future, so it will be nice to be able to do that to whatever extent I want. The other platforms I've been using here and there haven't said or done anything to make me believe I have more walking papers in my immediate future, so that's been good for my peace of mind as well.

I still think about BKA sometimes, as well as many of the projects I worked on through them. There's a part of me that hopes when things stabilize a bit and people are no longer afraid to contract with California writers, I'll be able to work with them again, but I'll be fine if that never happens. Some of the opportunities I discovered while shopping around for replacements for BKA have been so positive, it's hard to be upset. If anything, I'm a little miffed at them for giving me the boot the way they did, especially in light of how supportive so many other platforms have been, but that's a whole other issue.

On Royal Weddings, Birds, and Shifting Social Tides

Last Friday, Seth and I stayed up late to watch CNN's live footage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle getting married. I'm so very glad we did. I've casually followed the lives of the British royals since I first saw Diana and Charles get married as a little girl, so naturally I was interested in seeing their boys get married too. I watched them be born and grow up, after all, so -- like many people -- I guess I feel like I know them a little bit. Plus, Seth and I already watched the live footage of Prince William and Kate Middleton getting married years ago and had a wonderful time.

Harry has always been my favorite of the two princes though, so I was especially interested in seeing him sort of find someone eventually and settle down. Imagine how thrilled I was when he chose someone not only smart and poised, but biracial as well. Being biracial myself, that really means something to me. I was born in the 70's, so I very definitely grew up with the message that girls like me don't get to be princesses. We certainly were never considered pretty, or desirable, or noteworthy, so it's been quietly blowing my mind a little bit that I can actually recognize myself in the face of one of the British royals -- something I really didn't think would ever happen. Yes, there are still plenty of bigots out there that think we mixed girls (Meghan Markle included) ain't shit, but they can't change the fact that this is just huge.

At any rate, watching that wedding was just what I needed, so haters be damned. Some people really seem to get something out of feeling miserable all the time and focusing on everything that's wrong with the world we live in, but I don't. As melancholy and depressed as I can get from time to time, I always choose happiness, and cheer, and optimism as often as it makes sense to, so it was really nice to spend an entire evening thinking about gorgeous white flowers, and crazy English church hats, and a beautiful mixed girl marrying the best prince for a change. 

The Angelus

The Angelus - Jean-François Millet (1857-59)

That painting there -- Millet's The Angelus -- is one of my favorites right now, as it makes me think of the head space I'm in these days and all of the things that are positive about it. To begin with, it depicts a couple that not only works together, but prays together, taking a moment to bow their heads for the Angelus at dusk. They're hard-working farmers that work the land, not fancy folks that live easy lives. They work hard for everything they have, but it's a good life they live and it's one they never forget to thank God for. 

When I look at that painting, I see the standard I'm aspiring to, both on my own and within the context of my relationship. My ideal life with Seth looks like that life. In fact, I think I've made a decision. Whenever I get around to fixing up my desk area and making it work-friendly again, I think I'd like to buy a framed print or canvas of The Angelus and replace the nondescript print of my mother's that's currently hanging over my desk. At one point, I thought I'd replace it with a piece of my own art, but I think this is much more appropriate for where I'm currently at in my life.

It's amazing how differently I process the passage of time when I feel like I'm being consistent about  doing something good for myself. For instance, it's now the second day of May. At my current age, time has a way of zipping by at what honestly feels like a breakneck pace sometimes and the start of yet another month normally finds me feeling disappointed in myself because of how little progress I made as far as moving my life forward over the month before. This year has been different because of the way I've stuck by my decision to make exercise a regular part of my life. 

Writing Lab: Full of Stories, Full of Stars

Head of a Young Woman - Jean-Baptiste Greuze

Prompt: "Do you have a lot of untold stories inside of you? How do you feel carrying them around?"

Well, any writer is full of stories to at least some extent and I'm certainly no exception. I don't get writer's block as far as ideas go. I'd even go so far as to say that I come up with at least a couple of viable new ideas a week. However, I'm not terribly disciplined about doing much with any of them. Some of that has to do with how much of my writing energy gets poured into things for my clients these days, but the rest of it is just sheer laziness and apathy.

That said, I do have a lot of untold stories living inside of me to one extent or another. How does it make me feel? Perpetually bloated and full, like a person feels when they overeat at Thanksgiving. On the one hand, there's a satisfaction to feeling that full, because when you're full you're the very furthest thing from empty. On the other, it can be incredibly uncomfortable at the same time. You know it's not normal or healthy to be overstuffed to that extent. I do talk about ideas and whatnot to some extent, which helps. However, verbal conversation and Facebook are really no substitutes for proper stories and poems written on the regular.

Writing Lab: On Energy and Its Sources

Prompt: "Where do you draw your energy from?"

I've never been what you'd call an energetic person. Even when I was a child, my brand of energy was a very quiet, subdued one, if such a thing can ever be said to exist. My mind would be going a mile a minute on any given day, but I was never much into being physically active. I've also always had a hard time mustering energy for doing things I don't feel personally invested in.

That part of who I am hasn't changed one little bit now that I'm an adult. I only feel what most people would call energetic when I'm legitimately on fire about something. Truth be told, I don't feel much enthusiasm when it comes to life in general. However, there are a few sources from which I seem to be able to pull energy if and when I need to.

Writing Lab: Head Versus Heart

Prompt: "What do you think is more important for getting things done: passion or steadfastness?" 

For me personally, it all depends on what I'm trying to accomplish. I draw upon completely different personal resources when I'm pursuing something practical than I do when I'm expressing myself or working toward a personal goal.

When it comes to the personal stuff, it's all about passion. Passion is the only thing in those cases that really keeps me going. I have to feel excited about what I'm doing in my heart. I have to be so into it that I find it hard to go to sleep at night because my brain can't stop chewing on ideas and looking forward to the next step.

I'm a creative person through and through, so the whole "make yourself work on your art" approach doesn't really do it for me. When I'm not in the zone as far as something creative I'm working on, the quality of the work just isn't there. Literally every single time I've generated something truly artful and inspired, it came from passion and passion alone. I don't care if we're talking about a painting I did, a blog post I wrote, or an especially inspired dinner menu I came up with.

On the Holidays, the Circle of Life, and Owning One's Stories

Hrm... I had no earthly idea you could actually upload GIFs to Blogger and have them work. I suppose that opens up a whole new wealth of blogging possibilities, doesn't it. Sometimes you really just need to say it with a moving picture. But already, I digress. I'm really here to talk about the holidays and life in general.

I did fantastic this year, especially professionally. I made good money. I've been able to keep our bellies filled with good food without also feeling like I'm working myself half to death. I'm especially happy that I didn't have to take too many junk content assignments in order to make ends meet. The vast majority of the projects I worked on were honest jobs creating good content for legitimate businesses for a change. I literally can't remember the last time I wrote clickbait or advertising for some crappy snake oil product and that's the way I like it. I don't need to feel like I'm changing the world with what I do or anything, but I do need to feel good about how I earn my living on a basic level.

I'm looking forward to kicking back and enjoying my holiday weekend for sure. Cooking will be relatively hassle free. This year, I got us a turkey from Omaha Steaks that's already prepped and brined, so I really don't have to do much of anything beyond putting it in the oven when I'm ready to cook it. We went the fast and easy route with the sides, gravy, and pumpkin pie as well. Seth is picking up the rolls and butter at the store tonight and the produce man is bringing our veggies tomorrow afternoon sometime, so yeah. We're definitely set. 

January Musings

Much as it sometimes pains me to say it, I'm no longer really the kind of person that sets goals... if I ever was, that is. People that talk to me one-to-one on even a semi-regular basis hear this all the time from me, but I don't have this innate urge other people seem to have to "do something with my life" or "make something of myself". I don't particularly like being busy or having a lot to do. I'm not a big fan of attention or of knowing that others are counting on me either. If I didn't have to worry about earning money, I wouldn't even have a job or care much about getting anywhere practical with my writing.

I know how sad that sounds, but... that's me. I'm simple. I'm low-maintenance. There isn't a whole lot I need in order to be happy beyond the basics. All that said, I'm a hard person to motivate. I really do have to just have to decide I'm ready to do things in my own good time. That's exactly why New Year's resolutions aren't a huge thing for me. However, I do kind of like to touch base with myself at some point during the month of January anyway, the better to think about what's been working for me and what hasn't.