On Returning After an Unplanned Hiatus and Thanksgiving

Haynes King - The Letter

So here I am -- back from a somewhat involuntary break from blogging and working on getting back into the swing of things. I didn't plan things that way, but I did wind up busier than I needed to be, so I had to make a few judgment calls on the fly. I'm no longer willing to risk burnout or cut into my personal time with my husband to get ungodly amounts of work done, so I decided to simply put a couple of things on hold instead.

Sadly, blogging didn't make the cut as far as my writing life goes, but in retrospect, the break seems to have been good for me. Not only do I feel less poopy about certain things I'd been feeling poopy about, but I'm genuinely excited to get back into the groove after some time away. I've really missed expressing my thoughts this way and interacting with other writers on Medium and across all my social media channels.

As for what I have been up to, I did indeed wind up participating in this year's NaNoWriMo event. And I won, as these days I try to follow through on the writing commitment I make to myself come hell or high water. So that means I have a whole new collection of short stories under my belt -- one for every day in November. 

In April, I'll probably edit it for Camp NaNoWriMo and then begin releasing the stories one by one after that, as that worked out remarkably well last year. In the meantime, I still have plenty of stories leftover from last year's event that still haven't seen the light of day, so I'll still be floating the occasional fiction piece out there in the meantime. 

I've also been really busy with my copywriting business. I started writing marketing-themed content for a new client toward the end of October, and it's been working out really well so far. Not only does he toss me a good amount of work and pay me really well for it, but he eventually invited me to become a credited contributor to his company's blog. That means that although he's still my client and I'm still a hired freelancer, I'm no longer a ghostwriter as far as this particular client is concerned. And I'm stoked about it.

As anyone who's known me or read my stuff for long knows, I've had kind of a love/hate relationship with freelancing, in general, and ghostwriting, in particular when it comes to my writing. On the one hand, I love earning my living doing something like this instead of killing myself behind a cash register or a reception desk somewhere. But I don't always love letting other people take credit for content I worked hard on, especially when that content contains a lot of myself. 

I do occasionally still take one-off assignments about odd topics I don't really care about, but as I've gained experience, I've also niched down quite a lot. Most of the material I write for my regulars these days is on topics that I'm genuinely interested in and knowledgeable about -- like marketing, food, or relationships -- so it's not always easy to just give it away and let someone else take the credit for it. Being given a byline by this new client has really made me feel seen and valued in an exciting new way, so I'll be pursuing more opportunities like that in the future for sure.

On Rough Exits from Summer and the Coming of Fall

Lady Autumn - Olha Darchuk

So, I guess I should have known things felt a little too good to be true after I got that whole DMV excursion out of the way. It showed up in the mail really quickly, and I figured I could totally just hunker down, stay safe at home, and immerse myself in my writing for a good long while without a care in the world. I even had a nice, long holiday weekend planned for Labor Day.

But then the Friday before, I wound up having to pack Seth into an Uber and go with him to the emergency room for some digestive issues he'd suddenly started having. He also wound up staying in the hospital for a couple of days, as some blood pressure problems also came to light once he was there. He's home now and on meds with plans to stay on top of the issues that were found, but still. 

That was kind of a rough note on which to end the summer, especially considering what a pleasant summer it had actually been up to that point. Life hasn't quite felt right since, so we're still struggling to feel normal again. We've both been taking care to get our rest and make enough time for proper self-care. Hopefully, we'll feel like ourselves again soon.

Getting older is honestly no joke, people, as it's scary how quickly the wear and tear eventually add up. You do what you can to stay healthy, fit, active, and vital... but sometimes it's still not quite enough. If I could tell my younger self -- and young people in general -- just one thing, it would be not to take your health for granted, because one day staying healthy isn't going to be as effortless as it feels when you're 20. I definitely haven't been the worst as far as taking care of myself over the years, but I haven't exactly been the best, either. Definitely food for thought.

........

That said, I suppose it's time to start closing the book on summer and getting ready to move forward into fall. The equinox will be here soon -- around the time of Seth's birthday, actually. The weather is still blissfully cool here, even halfway through September, especially in comparison to other years. No wildfires right down the street this year. Halloween is on the way, with Thanksgiving and Christmas soon to follow. (How it's time for all that again, I'm sure I don't know.)

An Odd Start to a New Month

May's been off to a bizarre start so far. I feel like it's been full of niggling irritations and lots of little things randomly going wrong. For instance, yesterday, some guy wrapped his pick-up truck around a pole outside the grocery store down the street. To the best of my knowledge, no one was hurt, including the driver. 

He did manage to knock the power out for at least a few blocks, though, including the power at our house. I knew something good and fucked up had just happened because I heard this loud, almost apocalyptic electric humming outside right before the power went out. Then, later, there was all this smoke in the sky that smelled like burnt wires and electricity. 

Thankfully, we have a gas stove, so I could still finish making dinner despite having to do it in semi-darkness. And I certainly thought we were going to be without power for a good long while, which put me in a pretty bad mood, but thankfully everything was back up and running by the time I was ready to fix everyone's plates. I had a tight deadline to meet for a client before I'd be able to go to bed that night, so it was a huge relief not to have to thumb out the last couple of articles I had to finish on my phone with what was left of my battery charge. 

The whole month of May so far, not to mention the last few days of April, have been kind of like that, though. Many annoying little setbacks you can't possibly plan for, like other people dropping the ball or clients expecting to drastically change the scope of projects without any notice -- that sort of thing. I feel woefully behind with a lot of the things I've wanted to do, especially when it comes to writing. I guess that's life, though -- a constant rotating game of "feast or famine."

On Fiction Writing and Beauty in Middle Age

I can't believe I'm once again over here staring at the tail end of another month. I genuinely don't understand where the time goes or why it goes so quickly. Maybe it really is just something that comes along with being older. This hasn't been my most productive month for various reasons, but I'm hanging in there regardless. 

Luckily, I haven't wholly spaced Camp NaNoWriMo after deciding on a whim to give it a try at the end of last month. I really enjoyed my little journey back into the wide, wonderful world of creative writing back in November. Still, I'd been feeling pretty guilty about not having gotten around to editing any of my work yet. Camp NaNo's been great for that, though, so I'm super glad I went ahead and participated. 

Say what you will about any of the NaNo events, but I've learned not to knock them at this point in my growth as a writer. Not only are they fun and challenging, but they help you cut right through your usual collection of excuses as to why you're not making time for writing projects you say you want to complete. They've shown me what's possible when I put my mind to making it happen, even if I'm genuinely busy.

On that note, I can't seem to stop thinking of even more ideas for wonderful stories I'm sure would be a blast to write. Like NaNo, I thought creative writing was something I'd outgrown over the years and no longer truly enjoyed. This is quite simply not true, and I can tell I'm going to want to start doing it more regularly. I just wish I had somewhere to publish some of these where I could be sure they'd be read and enjoyed. 

At present, I'm playing with the idea of floating a couple out there on Medium here and there just to see how they do. I know P.S. I Love You has a Fiction Friday thing they do, so there must be someone over there who enjoys reading the occasional story along with their daily dose of self-help articles and personal essays. I'm just very excited about rediscovering this side of myself as a writer, and I'm dying to share it with the tiny handful of people who like my things. I suppose it can't hurt. You never know when something will unexpectedly find a larger audience.

On Camp NaNoWriMo and Trying On My Editor's Hat

So, I'm doing another creative writing-related thing this month. Admittedly, it's a thing I'm embarrassed to admit I've never done before despite an entire lifetime of writing. I'm actually working with the raw manuscript I created during NaNoWriMo last November to get it edited from start to finish. These days, NaNoWriMo hosts an additional Camp NaNoWriMo event twice a year in April and July, where writers are allowed to set their own goals. I got an email about this year's April event a while back and -- since I, of course, still haven't gotten around to editing my last batch of work under my own power -- I decided to go for it.

Since editing goes a heck of a lot faster than raw writing does, especially when I'm editing my own stuff, I haven't had to be as diligent about doing it every day. (I'm a very clean writer, even when I'm flying by the seat of my pants, so editing is often more like proofreading than anything else.) I've been keeping up really well regardless, though, and have everything a little less than half-done. I'll definitely be able to "win" the event and come out of it with a fully edited collection of short stories. Then they'll all be ready to use, submit, or publish in the future.

I'm starting to feel... almost grown-up these days as far as my writing goes. First, I started making actual money writing things I wanted to write for a change. Now I've not only stuck with a long-form writing project long enough to finish it, but I've also managed to get back to it and tackle the editing. I gave up on the idea of longer writing projects a long time ago, as I thought I didn't have the attention span necessary to finish one. I'm thrilled to see I was apparently wrong about that. 

And the process of reading back through all these little stories has been a pleasant surprise. Most writers complain about going back to old material they've written and finding that they hate every single word of it. I'm having the exact opposite experience. I've been away from these ideas long enough to not entirely remember every little detail of how they play out, so they're almost like new to me. And... they're actually good. Some of them are very good, even if I do say so myself. 

A Few Year's End Thoughts on Writing, Inspiration, and Ideas

With Christmas and New Year's Day having fallen on Fridays this year, I don't know whether I'm coming or going at this point. On the one hand, I don't really take vacations anymore, as it just doesn't make sense for my writing career right now. That makes the occasional long weekend extra important, though, and I've realized just how badly I needed some downtime these past couple of weeks.

Naturally, 2020 was stressful for me for all the same reasons it was stressful for everyone. But it's also been a very productive year for me personally. I never would have seen that coming at this same time last year, but it just goes to show you that you never know what's around the corner. It does pay to hang in there and keep trucking, even when you're sure you're not getting anywhere. 

In fact, the past twelve months have done something for me that I wasn't sure could be done after well over a decade of full-time professional writing. It gave me new reasons to get excited about sitting down to write, as well as new chances to do precisely the kind of writing I've always wanted to do as far as my living goes. I'm currently working on becoming my own version of Carrie Bradshaw, and it's been both fun and lucrative so far -- a winning combination if ever there was one. 

........

Our Christmas and New Year's celebrations were blissfully low-key. I slow-cooked a ham for Christmas and made pork chops with homemade mac and cheese, black-eyed peas, and collard greens for New Year's. I also baked for a change -- gingerbread for Christmas and sugar cookies for New Year's. I often forget just how special homemade baked goods can make a holiday, but I enjoyed them immensely this year -- both the baking and the eating. 

Seth and I spent our time enjoying being together, as well as catching up on movies and television we'd missed in recent months and years. We watched HBO's Chernobyl, which we just finished last night. We also watched an absolutely fantastic movie called I'm Thinking of Ending Things. It was written and directed by Charlie Kaufman, the same writer responsible for another long-time favorite of mine -- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 

What I've Learned About Fitting a Major Writing Project into an Already Tight Schedule

I officially take back everything I ever said in the past about fellow writers who couldn't manage to stick with their NaNoWriMo projects all the way to the end of the event. Back when I used to win NaNo all the time, I didn't have anything close to a full line-up of professional and personal responsibilities to manage the way I do now. It's an entirely different ballgame when you do, as it takes more than just discipline and an iron will to keep all those balls in the air. Hats off to anyone who can make it work.

That said, I'm hanging in there pretty well this year myself. I've been staying on par with my NaNoWriMo word count every single day without exception. Keeping up with everything else writing-related I have on my plate was a challenge last week, so I spent a lot of this week playing catch-up with things like my Medium posts. I've figured out a few things along the way, though. May they help those of you who will struggle in the future to add an additional project to your writing schedules when you're already busy like a mo-fo. 

You don't find the time. You make it.

I've written some Medium content about how to optimize your ongoing schedule for maximum productivity. I'm repeating the gist of what I said here because that's how important it is that you get it. I hear people continuously talk about wishing they had time to do what they want to do because they're just so busy. 

That's the thing, though. Everyone's busy -- everyone -- and I can assure you a lot of the hyper-productive people you know are a lot busier than you probably are. They have the same 24 hours to work with every day that you do. They just got super serious about streamlining their schedules, so they're not wasting time on a bunch of bullshit, is all.

On NaNoWriMo and Other November Challenges

I'm not about to sit here and tell you it's been easy to find room in my daily schedule to produce 1667 words of creative writing every day, but I'm already glad I decided to write something for NaNoWriMo this year. Since the last time I mentioned it, I've solidified my project concept quite a bit. It is indeed a collection of short flash fictions, and I did go ahead with the idea of writing a new one every day instead of devoting multiple days to any one piece -- much better for staying excited about the project and much harder to write myself into an inescapable corner. 

I also decided to take things one step further and use a song as a prompt for each story, so I'm calling it Harmony Uncaged for now. Anyone interested can click the NaNo banner in my sidebar to check out my progress, read whatever excerpt I've uploaded most recently, and access a Spotify playlist with all the song prompts in it. I've been very good about hitting my word count every day, and I'm having a blast with the project so far. Seth's been enjoying listening to the song prompts and reading the associated stories every day, as well, so I even have a tiny audience cheering me on.

It feels indescribably good to be producing creative writing again. Journaling and blogging will always likely be my fiercest loves regarding how I choose to express myself, but there's something about letting my imagination run wild that just feels so good. It makes me want to get back into my poetry again at some point, as well. 

Scattered Friday Thoughts on Writing in Stages

Officially speaking, I keep saying I'm not sure whether I'm indeed doing NaNoWriMo this year or not, yet all my actions tell me my heart's already set on it. Earlier in the week, I came up with a working title and designed a book cover on my phone while working out on my stationary bike. A Medium draft I've been picking at in bits and pieces over the past couple of days is about NaNoWriMo as a possible tool for writers. Earlier today, I was on NaNo's forums chatting up other writers before I temporarily left the office to go cook dinner for my family. 

Anything could happen between now and then to change my mind again, but I'd say I'm about 90 percent sure at this point that I'll do it. It's been so long since I did any creative writing that I'm curious as to whether I still know how. Plus, I smell possible post fodder to dip into here and there throughout November. I'm interested in seeing how I handle the event as an older, significantly more organized writer, as well. 

........

I've been noticing something interesting about my writing these days. I used to think I flew completely by the seat of my pants when it comes to deciding what to write about. However, my ideas actually go through very organized stages of evolution. They start out as thoughts on life or snippets from daily conversations that likely make it unfiltered into my private journal at some point. Most stay there because the bulk of my everyday thoughts wouldn't be of interest to anyone but me. Some eventually graduate to at least a mention in this blog or somewhere else on social media. 

On Flashbacks and Flashes Forward

I've been trying to get my shit together a little more regarding this blog lately. The craziness attached to that last Medium article that went viral over the summer is over now, but people are still finding their way here out of interest in me, so I've been sprucing up a few things. For instance, I just spent the better part of an hour reformatting old posts, fixing broken images, and all of that good stuff. Of course, anytime you're going back through any of your old work, it's inevitable that you'll at least skim some of it. That was certainly a weird experience.

I don't know that I do what other writers do and get hung up on how badly my older writing sucks in comparison to my more recent work (although I definitely do see a skill level difference.) I'm more stunned by how different my thinking is. I'm in a completely different mindset sitting here in my office writing this today than I was in most of my early posts. 

I've struggled so much in life, especially mentally and emotionally. I always did my best to put on a good face in front of others -- fake it 'til you make it, and all that -- but life, in general, always seemed so pointless and unnecessarily hard. It was heartbreaking to see Younger Shannon starting projects she was so hopeful about and quickly giving up -- all the fruitless little fits and starts. I can see in that version of me someone who desperately wants her life to matter and feel worth living but has no idea what such a life would look like or how to get there. The shadow of the person I'd eventually become is there, but barely. 

To be completely honest, I'm not really sure how I managed to get myself from there to here. When I read those older posts, I see someone who wants to die and is already well on her way to doing exactly that. I suppose I eventually sank deep enough that I was finally ready to do the shadow work. I'm not sorry those dark years in my life happened, as I wouldn't be able to write the things I'm writing now without them to reflect on, but it's hard to go back and witness them as they're happening. It's hard to read the proof of how hopeless and suffocating they were.

On Regrouping and Looking Ahead to the Future

How we're already nearly halfway through January already, I'll never know. Don't even get me started on how an entirely new decade has up and started while I've been busy focusing on other things. I spent the rest of the time leading up to Christmas and New Year's continuing to focus on my professional and public-facing writing. Part of that involved continuing to build a presence and establish myself on a couple of the newer platforms I'd signed up with. The idea was to have turned those outlets into viable places to earn money on an ongoing basis before I was officially off the roster at BKA and really needed that income. 

Things worked out on that front a lot better than I'd hoped -- so well, I actually spent very little time writing for BKA in the second half of December. One of the two platforms I'm using regularly these days is a little more sporadic and less reliable as far as being able to go there and pick up extra work whenever I want some, but it's great for filling in my schedule here and there. The other has been working out well enough that it's definitely an appropriate replacement for BKA as far as my overall income goes. New work is posted there very regularly, so I've had plenty of things to work on. I've also managed to connect with some new regulars. The pay is really good. There's the potential to earn even more and gain access to even better projects if I work hard there as well. 

I'm hoping neither of those platforms suddenly goes tits up on me the way that BKA did because of AB-5, but I also feel like that becomes less likely the further into 2020 we get without it happening. It seems like most of the outlets that decided they wanted nothing more to do with California writers found it deeply important to give us the boot before the new year started and the new laws went into effect, so... knock on wood, and all that. 

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Social media is a veritable paradise for the avid people watcher. Because what one does is incredibly public while feeling like it's not quite happening in reality, there's a lot you can tell about someone by looking at not only what they say over social media, but how they say it. You can see exactly how they want to come across to other people, but if you're paying attention, you can also see all the ways their online image isn't quite in line with who they really are underneath.

I'm relatively open with others about how I treat my social media accounts and how I view the people on my contact lists. I've even openly compared scrolling through Facebook in particular to watching a bunch of fish swimming around in a bowl. I don't consider myself to be much of a people person, but I do enjoy people watching. People watching is most interesting when people have more or less forgotten they're being observed and pondered in such a way. The things I've learned have taught me a lot about the way others operate... and about how I fit into that dynamic as well.

........

That said, I don't really tend to spend a ton of time on social media once the holidays roll around. Everyone tends to put on one or two of the same acts and that gets tiresome. I barely even bothered to check my feeds over this past Thanksgiving weekend. Over this past year, I've been able to upgrade my client roster a bit so that I'm only dealing with high caliber clients willing to pay for top-notch content. That said, I was easily able to take five days off to celebrate the holiday.

Quality Over Quantity

As usual, the beginning of another month has simply sped by and I'm just kind of left wondering what happened. I can't believe we're already ten days into November. Really, I'm going to take too long turning around one of these days and it will be Thanksgiving. Such is life when you keep relatively busy, I suppose.

As you may already be aware if you ever check in with me at my freelancing blog, The Creative Cat, I'm participating in NaNoWriMo this year for the first time in several years, as I finally have time for it, at least in theory. I'd been trying for some time to get my entire client base to a point where everyone I work with is paying premium pricing for my content and earlier in the year, I finally succeeded. I've been able to cut my overall workload in half as a result, meaning I now have actual time for creative endeavors of my own. 

I have to say, actually having time for something like NaNo in particular has been really pleasant. I'm working on a short story and poetry collection called Jar of Lies and so far it's going pretty well. I'm really happy with some of the ideas and think quite a few of them have some real potential. Others are just plain fun to work with, which is also OK. I'm a little bit behind on my word count at present, but it's nothing that I won't be able to easily make up this week. I don't actually have a deadline on the books for today, so should be able to make a nice, big dent in it this afternoon sometime.