4 Things You Learn About Yourself by Putting Your Writing Out There

I've had lots of experiences that have helped me see myself with more clarity over the years but starting to put my writing out there where people can actually read it is definitely toward the top of the list. These days I write many different types of material for lots of different reasons, and each has been educational in its own way. 

But I've probably learned the most from the raw, personal stuff I've written from the heart right before sharing it with the rest of the world on Medium or somewhere similar. Some of those lessons were joys to learn, while others were honestly pretty sobering. All of them were valuable. 

Yours will be, too, if you're an aspiring writer -- especially at the point where your writing goes from vegetating in some obscure corner of the internet to actually being read and shared. Yes, it's what writers think they want, and it can be pretty darned great when it happens, but some unexpected insights come with it, as well. The following are good examples.

1. What Your Readers Actually Want to See from You

If you're lucky, there might be some overlap between that and what you personally enjoy writing, but I wouldn't hold my breath. You also might find that what readers want to see from you isn't the same as what they want to see from Jim Bob or Jane Doe. That means you're probably not going to have much luck copying another writer's exact trajectory from relative obscurity to success. I don't care what they promised you in that expensive course they sold you.

Some niches just plain have a broader appeal than others. Whether they admit it or not, most people want to be richer, better, more talented, or more attractive. They want better relationships, a stronger sense of self, and a more prosperous life, as well, so those will always be good topics to write about if you want to be read. But the image you project will have a lot to do with how well you do.

I've had some luck with a lot of different niches, but my most successful pieces by far were about dating, relationships, and tips aimed at men looking to attract women. I'm not stupid, so I know why I do well writing about those things. I'm a conventionally attractive woman who's also old enough to have been around the block a couple of times and be in a long-standing relationship. The people these stories are aimed at find it easy to believe I know what I'm talking about. Figure out what that one thing is for you.

2. How Well You Take Criticism (or Not)

There's no such thing as a piece of writing so good that literally everyone will like it. In fact, the better an article is and the more successful it becomes, the more likely you are to have to deal with a bunch of trolls dogpiling it at some point during its lifespan. And the worst trolls don't stop at criticizing your writing, either. They'll also shit all over you however they can. 

They'll almost certainly go after your looks from one angle or another. (If they can't justify calling you fat or ugly, they're happy to go with vain or stuck-up.) They'll shit on your character or make wild assumptions about what kind of person they suspect you are based on whatever it is you wrote. I've had people shit on me for being frank about the problematic dynamics in my family. People make tons of incorrect assumptions about what my life must be like because of my looks. I've been called a horrible person because something I wrote touched a nerve. Most of it's obvious haterade being spilled, but yeah.

If you think you're good at handling stuff like that, you'll find out whether it's true or not. So, if you want to be a successful writer on Medium or anywhere else and are doing it because you think it will make everyone like you, think again. It will toughen you up, though, which is a process every writer should welcome. Tough writers aren't afraid to speak the truth, even when they know it will piss everyone off.

3. Whether You Really Want to Go Professional

Every aspiring writer dreams of hitting on something that works, making a name for themselves, and -- eventually -- earning an honest living doing what they do. They think that if that were to happen, they'd never be sad, angry, or frustrated another day in their life, and that's just not true. After all, they'd be writing, and writing is fun. Anything fun is the exact opposite of the drudgework most people associate with having a job, right?

I haven't quite reached that point with my blogging and personal work yet, but many other writers I know have. I've also been there with the freelancing and ghostwriting work I've done for many years at this point, as well as digital art way back in my DeviantArt days. Anything you do for a living will feel like a job sooner or later because it will always involve people-pleasing to at least some extent. If you want to keep making money, you have to write what sells, and that's not always going to be what you want to write.

Let's say you make a name for yourself by writing self-improvement content, but now your tastes have changed, and you'd rather write fiction or personal essays about parenting. Well, that's too damn bad because your audience probably isn't going to like that. Plus, you need to churn out new material really consistently (meaning "all the time") to stay relevant and keep your income up. Tired? Burnt out? Sick of being alive? Well, that's also too damn bad. Write or starve.

4. Whether You Genuinely Enjoy Writing

When I was young, the idea of writing for a living didn't have this weird aura of glamour around it the way it apparently does now. Even writers who did well were seen as grouchy, reclusive drunks with mental health issues to at least some extent. Somewhere along the way, people started thinking of professional writers as people who were out there living the life. I see it every time someone asks me what I do, and I tell them I'm a writer. 

I personally blame Carrie Bradshaw and the fancy-pants lifestyle she somehow cultivated, writing one article for a newspaper column every week. That's not what it's like to be a writer. You're not going to get anywhere with your writing if you're only interested in generating one piece a week. Successful writers all have one crucial thing in common -- they write like the wind, more or less every day. Not only is actually sitting down and practicing your craft critical for getting good at it, but you typically have to throw a lot of spaghetti on the wall before something sticks.

That means you'd better mean it when you say you love to write because writing can feel pretty thankless a lot of the time. There will be pieces you're over-the-moon proud of that no one gives a shit about for reasons you can't put your finger on. Then something stupid you wrote on a whim will take off instead and leave you doubting people's sanity and good taste. It's just the nature of the beast. 

........

Writing things that you actually put out there under your own name for the whole world to potentially enjoy is a mixed bag. Some days you'll be walking on air and loving life. Other days, there will be things that frustrate you so bad, you'll have trouble picturing yourself ever wanting to write another word ever again. But, for people who really enjoy writing for a living, the good will far outweigh the bad.

Actually seeing your writing consumed and enjoyed by other people is a fantastic feeling. Sure, you'll get trolls sometimes, but you'll also hear from people who tell you something you wrote inspired them or changed their life in some beautiful, meaningful way. And often that leads to other opportunities, as well -- opportunities to make money, write on a larger scale, or explore new territory as a creative. 

My writing career has come with lots of ups and downs, but I wouldn't have things any other way. I can honestly say that nothing on this earth makes me feel alive to the same extent writing does. I'm not sure anything's taught me quite so much about myself as a person, either.