When the Algorithm Breaks Your Routine: 6 Lessons in Resilience for Creators

So, there's this massive AI art group on Facebook where I'm the primary moderator. This being the case, I've developed a daily habit of hopping on there in the mornings to see what's going on, remove anything that violates community standards, approve posts, and make sure everyone's behaving before I go start my day.

But this morning, I opened Facebook as usual, only to find the group gone instead. It had been Zucked for God only knows what reason. (The notification they gave the owner was vague at best, as it often is when it comes to Meta.)

No warning. No explanation. Just a blank space where something big and vibrant used to be. The owner appealed the decision, obviously, and the group may be reinstated. But stuff like this can't help but get you thinking about certain things when it comes to content creation and how you manage your digital presence, especially if you depend on any part of it for income.

It's About More Than Just a Facebook Group

If you’ve ever helped build or moderate a thriving online community, you probably get why the (hopefully temporary) loss of that group knocked me for a loop. It becomes part of your routine. You check in. You contribute. You help people. You share what you’re working on and cheer for others as they grow. It becomes not only a digital space, but a personal anchor.

And like most things that are part of your daily routine, you don't consciously think about what they mean to you until they're not there anymore for whatever reason. 

As someone who actively avoided anything that looked even vaguely like responsibility or required me to manage other people for most of my life, I now recognize that group as the catalyst for a lot of personal growth in these areas. I realized that under the right circumstances, I actually enjoy those things. And they make me better, as a person and as a creator.

So that group mattered. 

The Illusion of Ownership

Here’s the hard truth about platforms, though. Especially examples like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and the like. They come and go. They operate by rules and standards that are sometimes vague and arbitrary. They can change those rules at will for any reason or no reason at all.

It's easier than most people think for their content to get caught in the crossfire through no real fault of their own.

We talk a hell of a lot about "our" groups, "our" pages. But we don't actually own any of those spaces. Facebook does. Instagram does. X (formerly Twitter) does. And those platforms can revoke access, throttle reach, or erase whole communities without notice.

Why Are Some People Always Around, but Never Really There?

There’s a specific kind of energy that comes from people who never interact with your posts and never cheer when you hit a milestone, but consider it important to keep tabs on you regardless.

Sometimes it’s an ex-employer or old client lurking on your LinkedIn for no good reason. Sometimes it’s a family member who dismissed your ambitions for years but still feels the need to track you all over the internet without being invited. And sometimes it’s a frenemy or an ex you know is secretly rooting for you to trip, because they’d feel better about their own inertia if you’d just slow down a little.

The Social Media Stage (Without the Applause)

Social media was something that was supposed to help us all connect, and sometimes it does. But it also makes it incredibly easy for people to stealth-monitor your journey without ever truly supporting it, especially people who know they should probably just mind their own business. They can lurk. Gossip. Screenshot. All without ever actually engaging.

Sometimes it feels like being on a stage where half the audience showed up with their arms crossed, just to see if you’ll flub your lines. And even if the evidence isn't right in your face all the time, you still feel it. You know the difference between being followed and being witnessed. One nourishes. The other just… drains.

Lurker Role Call: 5 Classic Types You Might Recognize

The following are just a few of the most common lurker species I've run into over the years, listed purely for observational purposes, of course. If you see yourself in one of these, maybe rethink your habits. 

1. The Ghost

Never interacts, despite knowing you personally, but is always watching regardless. You find out they’re still tuned in via a random slip in conversation six months later.

Signature move: “Oh, I saw that thing you posted,” on the tail of total silence when it was live.

2. The Spy

Usually a toxic ex or a professional rival, but may also be someone like a former boss who gave you the boot at some point. Claims they don’t care what you’re doing, while checking your updates more often than your actual friends.

Signature move: Story or profile views, tracking breadcrumbs, and muddy footprints in your analytics.

3. The Narrative Thief

Doesn’t engage, but uses your life as conversational currency. Often found quoting your updates to mutual acquaintances or even passing off your words as their own, without ever speaking to you directly.

Signature move: “Oh, I heard you’ve been doing some kind of writing thing lately.”

4. The Silent Frenemy

Used to be loud support... until you outgrew them or otherwise rubbed them the wrong way just by existing. Now they just lurk, half-hoping you fail.

Signature move: Occasionally showing up to argue with you but never to support or congratulate.

5. The Lurker Relative

Joined social media purely to watch you. Doesn’t post, doesn’t engage. They just kind of exist in the background like a bad smell. Loves to pick apart what you post on social media behind your back or use it as ammunition against you.

Signature move: Following you when they haven't been invited to (or possibly even after you've pointedly asked them not to), and then acting like you’re the weird one.

Visibility vs. Vulnerability

Being visible is part of the gig when you’re using your web presence to build something or get your voice out there. But it comes with that weird side effect everyone knows and no one actually likes. People from your past (or the sidelines) showing up to watch or be all stalkery and weird, but never to actually help or support.

And the worst part? They think you don’t notice.

There's really only one thing to say to that. You’re allowed to keep creating, glowing way the hell up, and growing, even when you’re being watched by people who’d rather you didn’t. 

Let them lurk. Let them wonder. Just don’t let them dim you, because they’re not your audience. They’re just background noise. And you? You’re the main event.

Yes, My Communication Skills Need Work

Isolation Communication - Charles Luna

So, one thing I've been desperately trying to work on lately is being less of a trash-hole human as far as communication goes, particularly online. I am notoriously horrible at it and have been my entire life. Part of that is probably a spectrum thing, as I just kind of shut down socially and isolate more when I've been letting comments on Medium or on social media back up too far without responses. The rest of it is often either a time thing or a genuine lack of knowledge about what to say in response.

So, I guess what I'm getting at is that if you're a reader who's ever reached out to me over email, on Medium, or via any of my social media channels and didn't get a response, it doesn't mean I didn't see it or deliberately chose to ignore it. I likely read it right away through my notification emails, meant to get back to you some other time, and then spaced it entirely. Or I could just be taking my sweet time, which I sometimes do. I often have a lot on my plate -- so much that I occasionally have to pull back temporarily from blogging and social media altogether -- and it can take me a while to circle back to things like answering comments. 

Seriously, the only time I deliberately ghost communications from a reader altogether is if they were rude or trollish. So, if you're not an asshole who went out of your way to try to ruin my day because you don't like my stupid face or something, know that I appreciate you and your response. Even if I never wound up getting back to you because I took so long about it that responding started to seem "weird". Don't let my overblown sense of self-confidence fool you. I'm a master overthinker, and that gets me into trouble sometimes.

On Life's Recent Ups and Downs

The irritating thing about dealing with chronic brain chemistry issues like depression and anxiety is I get to play this super-fun guessing game with myself every time I'm feeling under the weather emotionally. What am I feeling, exactly, and where is it coming from? Is it just a chemical or hormonal thing, or is it something that has a cause? If it does have a cause, is it something I can fix, or do I just need to wait for it to pass? Sometimes I never do quite figure things out until after the episode is over.

That seems to have been the case with me lately. I've not been feeling like myself at all these past couple of months. I've been feeling low-key anxious in general, and it's been tough to concentrate on my writing, as my mind's felt very far away. I suspected it might be due to the election and all the trouble Donald Trump had been causing ever since, especially regarding the riot on Capitol Hill. Now that Inauguration Day has come and gone, I know that's precisely what it was.

Now that we have a new president in the White House and Trump is (for now) gone, I feel 100 percent better. I know Joe Biden isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but he's nothing short of a top-tier blessing after four years of Donald Trump. He seems like a genuinely good guy who cares about his country and wants to get to work cleaning up the royal mess Trump's made of it. He wants to get all this COVID nonsense under control so that people can get back to living semi-normal lives without worrying about dying some horrible death, as well. 

Life feels normal again, and I've been able to exhale. I'm slowly but surely finding the energy to resume my regular posting schedule over on Medium and elsewhere as a result. Once I've got that back under control, there are some additional balls I'd like to throw into the air for the year to come. Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras are coming up. Spring will be right around the corner next. I'm already starting to get into that spirit, and it feels fantastic.

My Life as a Social-Antisocial Being

Like most people with the audacity to hop on the internet and share their writing every day, I get my fair share of comments from complete trolls -- especially if something I put out there starts doing really well. I've had people call me sexist (and even imply I'm queerphobic) for writing articles targeted at men who don't understand why women won't date them. I've had people tell me I'm shallow and fatphobic for talking about my ongoing fitness journey and singing the praises of an active lifestyle in general. I've even been shat on for so much as mentioning that my family was dysfunctional growing up. 

None of that actually bothers me. I've got a thicker skin than most people would figure just looking at my tarty little face. Plus, I've come to feel that trolls are a sign that whatever I wrote must have hit home on some level. Random folks only get that freaking mad at people they don't know when writing touches a nerve. I will never understand what inspires people to completely ignore the writing and comment on the writer's appearance, though.

This morning, a random reader felt the need to mention what a pretty girl they thought I was, but they really wished I showed my teeth when I smile. After reading an article I wrote about racial identity. And I genuinely don't understand what makes a person crack their knuckles and type something like that all the way out. Like, what means? What am I expected to do in response to that sort of feedback? Scramble to change my avatar to a photo of me showing every tooth in my head like a God damned donkey? Who knows anymore.