I worry about money and the future a lot, so I'm used to keeping myself in a perpetual state of overwork, especially during the week. Not having spare productive time to think straight, let alone work on ideas of my own, becomes my default state. So, when things are slow at work for more than a day or two, I don't really know what to do with myself.
It's easy to show up when things are happening, money is flowing, and there's tons to do. Much harder when things are just shuffling along.
But I've also learned that the shuffly times are the best times to tackle key foundational work, as well as show up for myself in ways I often don't. But knowing that is one thing. Remembering it is another.
Some days, victory is lighting a candle instead of giving up
Regardless of what you do or don't have going on professionally at the moment, it's hard to exist in the world right now. Every morning, there's another headline to get upset about. Everyone's uncertain about the future. We're all afraid for friends and loved ones, as well as for ourselves. All of that makes even normal dips and rises in workflow harder to handle.
It's easy to feel stuck or like your effort isn't landing. It's even easier to feel like nothing you're doing matters. But it does matter. It all matters. And wins don't have to be big or lucrative to qualify. Sometimes winning is as simple as blessing your day in small ways.
Choosing to get up and tend my garden on an off day instead of sitting around moping is a win. Lighting a candle and engaging in a few minutes of meditation, prayer, or quiet focus is a win. So is sitting down and choosing to spend a free afternoon writing something for myself instead of deciding that my writing only matters when a client is primed and ready to pay me directly for it the minute I'm finished.
Some days, success is choosing to be kind to yourself
If life's taught me anything at this point, it's that fear and anxiety thrive best in the stretches between milestones. That's when I hear the imaginary voices of my parents telling me that I'm a failure because I'm not rich yet. They insist that it's my own fault when something I try doesn't work out or that I'm still not doing enough, even when things are going well.
On those days, success looks like choosing not to listen. It looks like being kind to myself the same way I'd be kind to a friend in a similar situation. It looks like not treating myself like I'm disposable and irrelevant if I'm not actively grinding at that exact moment.
Some days, success means choosing to move anyway
Sometimes, not having much to do isn't the problem. Sometimes I just have zero focus or energy. On days like that, I don't even feel mildly inspired, let alone actively motivated to do anything cohesive. But I've also learned that any movement is positive movement in support of forward momentum.
Those are the days I push myself to take a short walk outside and get a few minutes of sun or set an intention for my day by pulling a tarot card. And from a writing standpoint, even a short entry in my private journal counts. Sometimes I even surprise myself.
Ultimately, every positive choice is a vote for a better day (and by association, a better future). Even small steps forward are still steps in the right direction.
Some days, success is protecting your energy
Not every opportunity that presents itself is necessarily right for you. Not every opportunity is necessarily meant to be permanent, either. It's actually a lot easier to see that on slower days when you have a spare second or two to reflect on your journey.
Case in point, I accepted a part-time remote position with a copywriting agency earlier this year, a position I was sure would be the permanent answer to all my worries and concerns about income, the future, and financial stability. But they had a very complicated asset development process in place that wasn't a good fit for my working style or personality. (Think endless revisions, tons of early-morning sit-down meetings, and that sort of thing!) Still, I kept on keeping on, as I badly wanted things to work out.
Ultimately, they amicably let me go at the end of my probationary period, but it took me a minute to realize that it was truly for the best. The constant meetings had been disrupting my sleep schedule, while their overzealous editing process had started to chip away at my self-esteem and confidence. And since I never knew when I'd be expected to drop everything for yet another complicated "emergency" revision, I couldn't realistically commit to new projects for other clients.
In time, I understood that I hadn't been protecting my energy the way I should have been, and I learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes success looks less like having a flashy position at a successful agency and more like making sure your work life truly serves your well-being. It means getting real about what in your life is draining (rather than nurturing) you and choosing accordingly. Sometimes even a loss is a win.
Some days, triumph is all about staying
I don't know about you, but I have a really hard time staying invested in things that don't yield instant payoffs. It doesn't matter how excited I was about the idea or how nourishing the work might have been on a soul level. I eventually get the urge to either blow it all up with dynamite or quiet-quit by "taking a break" and then never going back.
I've been working hard not to do that anymore (one reason I held onto that agency position even though things weren't really coming together). Most projects I start do yield fruit when I stick with them and continue to invest in them, especially anything creative or expressive. It's that way for everyone.
So yes, it's important to know when to quit. But it's just as important to know when to keep showing up. When something matters and fills you with purpose, show up.
Keep showing up, even when it's hard
Showing up for life doesn't necessarily need to involve dedicated work every single time. Some days, it looks more like this for me:
- Lighting a candle with intention
- Taking a walk with awareness
- Writing a short gratitude list (even three things is plenty)
- Engaging in a single act of creation (e.g., a short journal entry or a couple of Midjourney renders)
- Making a cup of tea or a small meal and savoring it mindfully
- Actively affirming my progress and taking stock of how far I've come
A day doesn't have to look like a victory to be one. Quiet days are actually the days when strength is forged and resilience reinforced. These are the days you prove to yourself that you're in it for the long haul. If you showed up, you won.
* This piece is part of my ongoing journey through the Feast of the Wandering Pen, a month-long writing exploration dedicated to honoring the quiet triumphs, creative sparks, and unseen roads that lead us home.
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