Sometimes the pulls bring things up for consideration that I might not actively be thinking about otherwise. Today's overall theme turned out to be all about reclaiming lost parts of your identity and stepping into the life you know you deserve.
But knowing you deserve something and believing you'll actually get it are two different animals. Especially when you didn't grow up feeling safe, accepted, or loved with any real consistency. I personally learned that I'm only worthy of those things when I'm "going places" and accomplishing circles around everyone else. It's taking me all 49 years of my life so far to even start unlearning it properly.
I'm getting there, though. And sometimes the universe backs me up with exactly the kind of encouragement I need on a given day. Today felt like one of those days.
The Eye
Some forces watch us long before we know how to watch back. The way The Eye watches shouldn't trigger suspicion or fear, but rather awareness. The kind that sees beneath the surface and into the marrow of what something (or who someone) is.
Pulling The Eye today made me feel seen. Not by people, but by something older and a whole heck of a lot wiser than I am. A presence that knows the threads I carry, even when I forget them myself. The Eye watches not to punish, but to protect. To remember on your behalf until you are strong enough to remember on your own.
The Wheel
The Wheel turns endlessly without warning or permission. It won't ask you if you’re ready. It won't check first to see whether you’ve healed enough. It just moves when it's time. And when it does, it pulls everything with it — the tired patterns, the silent prayers, the half-finished hopes.
The Wheel showed up today and indicated something clicking into motion. Like a lock I’d forgotten I was holding, finally giving way. This is the part of living no one tells you about. The way movement feels like chaos when you've been really still and quiet for way too long. But chaos isn’t the enemy. It’s the engine, and I'm more than ready to see where it takes me next.
Wealth
Not money, or at least not just money. True wealth is about knowing that something can be yours and letting that knowing settle into your bones where it belongs. Wealth is a comfortable space to rest, to create, to stop surviving and finally start choosing.
The Ten of Disks (Wealth) showed up today, I let it speak, and it told me something I really needed to hear. You are allowed to want this. You are allowed to build this. You are allowed to keep it. Building a legacy to be proud of doesn’t have to mean losing first. It can start right now.
Courage
I'm not talking about the kind of courage that charges the hill here. This is the kind that breathes quietly and remains faithfully. It says yes to itself, even before the world thinks to say yes in return. Courage is relisting the blog link you almost took down. It’s refusing to apologize for writing about magic, grief, or wanting to be seen.
It’s admitting that you still want more from this life, and daring to believe that maybe that "more" wants you, too. It’s lighting the last of the candles from last night and letting them burn all the way down. It’s staying in the room with yourself, even when you’re afraid you’re too much.
........
Tomorrow, the smoke will have cleared, and the wax will be cold. Courage may feel further away as a result. But today, it was super close. And I wrote it down so I could remember. When the Eye sees you, when the Wheel turns, when Wealth speaks, and when Courage holds, you answer. You stay. You claim it before it has a chance to get away.
* This reflection was written as part of the Feast of the Wandering Pen, a personal writing ritual exploring reflection, seasonality, and the unseen patterns guiding us.
This is great! The eye, wheel, wealth, and courage. I like that. The big 4!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not a bad four to show up together on the same day. Thanks, I'll take it!
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