New Year, Same Me (But Better)

Our Wonderful New Year's Day Dinner

So I guess it's official. Another year has been and gone, but it's different this time. This past year was perhaps the first year of my entire life that saw me truly and deliberately growing toward being the person I actually want to be. I have twelve months to look back on that I spent being determined, responsible, and dedicated to self-improvement and I like the way it feels. I definitely plan on continuing along that path in 2019 so that I can feel that way again next New Year's and hopefully every New Year's to follow.

Speaking of New Year's, I had a wonderful relaxing holiday yesterday. For dinner, I made us this delicious ham I got from ButcherBox with black-eyed peas, country greens, and mac on the side. I took the day off and spent the great majority of it relaxing. The latest and last season of A Series of Unfortunate Events went up on Netflix, so Seth and I started that, as well as continued with our rewatch of Mad Men. I spent some time working on my language lessons. The ColourPop palettes I ordered during their after-Christmas sale arrived on New Year's Eve, so I created a very pretty (and contemporary)  look with those after my morning workout as well. It was a great day and a terrific way to start a brand new year.

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The more I continue to work on my health and my looks, the more I'm getting back to being my old self again. Part of that has actually meant being more social (at least online) and actually talking to people again the way I used to. In many ways, that's been great. I've found some great groups online where I can talk to other people that are into things I'm really interested in at this point in my life (e.g. fitness, beauty, tarot, or astrology).

On Election Day

People have never quite understood why I am the way I am. Particularly in regards to why I don't trust the system, wish to be part of society to a greater extent than I absolutely have to, or believe in the inherent goodness of humanity. Something tells me they're starting to understand now.

The thing is I've understood for a while that we live in a garbage society filled with garbage humans that are the very picture of arrogance, entitlement, vanity, hypocrisy, and prejudice. Our society is infected with an illness you can smell even on people that don't see themselves as being anything of the sort and this has been the case for as long as I've been alive. That society threw me away a long time ago in a way I've been painfully aware of for as long as I can remember.

Nothing has really changed as far as the type of world we live in. It's always been like this. You just see it now. You are realizing how big, and bad, and putrid the sickness really is, perhaps for the first time. This election dragged it right out into the open where everyone had no choice but to look at it, smell it, and try not to vomit at the stench. What I am talking about isn't even about politics, really. It is, however, something that has been exposed by politics as such things often are.