A Welcome End to an Emotionally Intense Week

Not that I really expected anything to truly be different now that we're into a new year, but suffice it say, I no longer care to subscribe to 2021's newsletter. And we're only a little over a week in, for Pete's sake. By now, everyone knows about the mob of Trump-supporting rioters that stormed the United States Capitol this past Wednesday. People have weighed in on this non-stop over the past several days, so I won't rehash all the details, but -- as was the case for many people, I'm sure -- this threw the biggest emotional wrench into my wellbeing this week. 

I've been feeling horribly anxious ever since, and I've found it very difficult to write much outside of my client obligations. Somehow, giving relationship advice and chattering on about general self-improvement doesn't seem like the thing to do right now. It already felt like people weren't really in the mood to improve themselves or their lives much this January, but the turmoil created by this event has only made things worse. Perhaps I should consider branching out soon and writing more about social issues, politics, and the like. It might give me somewhere productive to channel the very intense, strange feelings I've had this week.

I'm appalled not only by the fact that people who claim to be proud American actually did this but that there's been a sad lack of consequences for it overall. Yes, by now, the FBI has tracked some of these people down and started making arrests, but that's nothing compared to what would have happened here if these had been Black Lives Matter protestors instead of a horde of white Trump supporters. Donald Trump has been banned from several major social media platforms for inciting violence, but he's yet to be impeached or removed from office for this. 

There's quite a lot of evidence that these same people are planning even more violence to come between now and Inauguration Day on the 20th, as well, so I hope someone with some authority is taking this seriously. I'm scared for soon-to-be President Biden and Vice President Harris. I'm saddened to see family and people I thought were friends condoning what's happened here. And most of all, I'm a little ashamed to be an American right now -- especially when you consider additional factors like our failure to handle the COVID pandemic with any sort of grace. It's a lot to unpack, and I haven't been feeling like my productive, optimistic self at all.

A Few Year's End Thoughts on Writing, Inspiration, and Ideas

With Christmas and New Year's Day having fallen on Fridays this year, I don't know whether I'm coming or going at this point. On the one hand, I don't really take vacations anymore, as it just doesn't make sense for my writing career right now. That makes the occasional long weekend extra important, though, and I've realized just how badly I needed some downtime these past couple of weeks.

Naturally, 2020 was stressful for me for all the same reasons it was stressful for everyone. But it's also been a very productive year for me personally. I never would have seen that coming at this same time last year, but it just goes to show you that you never know what's around the corner. It does pay to hang in there and keep trucking, even when you're sure you're not getting anywhere. 

In fact, the past twelve months have done something for me that I wasn't sure could be done after well over a decade of full-time professional writing. It gave me new reasons to get excited about sitting down to write, as well as new chances to do precisely the kind of writing I've always wanted to do as far as my living goes. I'm currently working on becoming my own version of Carrie Bradshaw, and it's been both fun and lucrative so far -- a winning combination if ever there was one. 

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Our Christmas and New Year's celebrations were blissfully low-key. I slow-cooked a ham for Christmas and made pork chops with homemade mac and cheese, black-eyed peas, and collard greens for New Year's. I also baked for a change -- gingerbread for Christmas and sugar cookies for New Year's. I often forget just how special homemade baked goods can make a holiday, but I enjoyed them immensely this year -- both the baking and the eating. 

Seth and I spent our time enjoying being together, as well as catching up on movies and television we'd missed in recent months and years. We watched HBO's Chernobyl, which we just finished last night. We also watched an absolutely fantastic movie called I'm Thinking of Ending Things. It was written and directed by Charlie Kaufman, the same writer responsible for another long-time favorite of mine -- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 

Reflections on Life After Watching Disney-Pixar's Soul

I finally got to see the new Disney-Pixar movie the other night -- Soul. Being the giant, overgrown kid-at-heart I am, I get very excited about new Disney films as a rule, but I was extra eager to see this one. Not only does it have a Black lead and contain many references to Black culture -- something I'm happy to be seeing in more media -- but jazz music is an integral part of the film's theme, as well. I've come to love jazz, especially as I get older and increasingly excited about different kinds of music.

I liked the film very much in general. Still, I especially enjoyed its primary message about the concept of life purpose and how it addressed many common questions people have on the subject. 

• What does it mean to have a life purpose?
• Is your purpose about your profession of choice or something else entirely?
• What does it really feel like to finally realize your most significant, dearest goals in life?
• Where do little pleasures and daily experiences fit into the picture?
• Is it possible not to have a purpose, and what happens if that's the case for you?

At nearly 45, I've managed to answer many of those questions for myself, but it took me a while. Joe was my favorite character, so I'd love to say I was just like him -- maybe a little misguided, but always sure of what I wanted to do with my life. I'm really the spitting image of Soul 22, though. 

Like 22, I believed that I didn't have a life purpose for an extremely long time, especially when I was younger. While everyone else my age seemed to know exactly what they wanted to do with their lives, nothing seemed to resonate with me at all. I did know I enjoyed being creative -- drawing, writing, playing piano, and the like -- but there was no way to turn those things into stable livings that actually appealed to me back then. I didn't want to put on a suit and design logos for some soulless corporate entity or settle for teaching schoolchildren about the things I wanted to be doing myself. I especially disliked the idea of having to commute to an office every day.