My Life as a Social-Antisocial Being

Like most people with the audacity to hop on the internet and share their writing every day, I get my fair share of comments from complete trolls -- especially if something I put out there starts doing really well. I've had people call me sexist (and even imply I'm queerphobic) for writing articles targeted at men who don't understand why women won't date them. I've had people tell me I'm shallow and fatphobic for talking about my ongoing fitness journey and singing the praises of an active lifestyle in general. I've even been shat on for so much as mentioning that my family was dysfunctional growing up. 

None of that actually bothers me. I've got a thicker skin than most people would figure just looking at my tarty little face. Plus, I've come to feel that trolls are a sign that whatever I wrote must have hit home on some level. Random folks only get that freaking mad at people they don't know when writing touches a nerve. I will never understand what inspires people to completely ignore the writing and comment on the writer's appearance, though.

This morning, a random reader felt the need to mention what a pretty girl they thought I was, but they really wished I showed my teeth when I smile. After reading an article I wrote about racial identity. And I genuinely don't understand what makes a person crack their knuckles and type something like that all the way out. Like, what means? What am I expected to do in response to that sort of feedback? Scramble to change my avatar to a photo of me showing every tooth in my head like a God damned donkey? Who knows anymore.

"Christmas Means Family" Is a Full-of-Shit Statement

Clark Griswold is still my spirit animal.

Now that November's over and December is officially here, we're officially in the process of shifting gears at my house. That means the Christmas lights are lit on a nightly basis, and we've officially started our yearly watchings of some of our favorite holiday films. Last night's pick was one of my personal favorites -- National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. 

The older I get, the more I think I relate to Clark (Chevy Chase) on a level I never did when I first fell in love with this film. I keep holidays very low-key these days for all sorts of reasons, but I'm usually the person in my household that does most of the planning for holiday celebrations. I put together the menus and do all the cooking. Back when my living situation allowed for it more, I used to get pretty into decorating my apartment and trying to make it feel like a magical place to be for the holidays. Sometimes I'd go overboard or fail to plan ahead well enough and wind up shooting myself straight in the foot, just like Clark, but it's probably not too hard to understand why.

Growing up, I was a very idealistic child, and my home life failed to measure up in many ways. My parents stopped loving each other at some point when I was a little kid but made the "honorable" decision to "stay together for the kids" anyway. I don't know who they thought they were fooling, though, because it was pretty apparent that neither of them was about that family life. My dad openly dated other women and was home as little as possible, even around the holidays. My mom more or less just gave up on domestic life -- hated to cook, hated doing the mom thing, and hated keeping house. Each of my parents bad-mouthed the other to my brother and me non-stop, so that was fun.

End of November Thoughts

Stéphane Audran in Babette's Feast (1987)

How we're about to put another month in the can, I really couldn't tell you. It feels like just yesterday that Halloween was approaching, and I was still planning out my November. Now it's already time to start thinking about Christmas, and my little mind is blown. It's true what they say about time as you get older. It just goes faster and faster until you're just dizzy from it. 

After today, there are only three more days left of NaNoWriMo. I'm definitely starting to run out of gas at this point in the event and will probably be happy to get back to normal, but I'm so glad I did this. It taught me a lot about how even a busy person can make room in their schedule for something new if they want it badly enough. I also really surprised myself as far as how creative I still can be. I'm thrilled with some of the stories I came up with. Some even have the potential to become very good longer works with a little patience and TLC.

At any rate, I'm definitely going to finish. I'd better! I ordered my official 2020 Winner shirt and everything. And despite not being expected to ship out until mid-December sometime, it showed up in the mail today. I feel a little silly admitting how excited I am about wearing it when I cross the finish line and hit 50,000 words on Monday, but what the hell is life for without a little childlike excitement from time to time. I've planned well enough that I'll be coming out of the event with a finished book, as well -- very exciting.