The Sacred Work of Slow Days

For someone who craves a life that includes as much peace, quiet, and flexible downtime as possible, I'm horrible about handling slower days with grace when they do actually come around. 

I worry about money and the future a lot, so I'm used to keeping myself in a perpetual state of overwork, especially during the week. Not having spare productive time to think straight, let alone work on ideas of my own, becomes my default state. So, when things are slow at work for more than a day or two, I don't really know what to do with myself. 

It's easy to show up when things are happening, money is flowing, and there's tons to do. Much harder when things are just shuffling along. 

But I've also learned that the shuffly times are the best times to tackle key foundational work, as well as show up for myself in ways I often don't. But knowing that is one thing. Remembering it is another.

Some days, victory is lighting a candle instead of giving up

Regardless of what you do or don't have going on professionally at the moment, it's hard to exist in the world right now. Every morning, there's another headline to get upset about. Everyone's uncertain about the future. We're all afraid for friends and loved ones, as well as for ourselves. All of that makes even normal dips and rises in workflow harder to handle. 

It's easy to feel stuck or like your effort isn't landing. It's even easier to feel like nothing you're doing matters. But it does matter. It all matters. And wins don't have to be big or lucrative to qualify. Sometimes winning is as simple as blessing your day in small ways.

Choosing to get up and tend my garden on an off day instead of sitting around moping is a win. Lighting a candle and engaging in a few minutes of meditation, prayer, or quiet focus is a win. So is sitting down and choosing to spend a free afternoon writing something for myself instead of deciding that my writing only matters when a client is primed and ready to pay me directly for it the minute I'm finished.

Where the World Began: A Reflection

When I was little, yellow school buses simply didn't exist. I'd only ever seen them on TV, full of laughing children who somehow seemed excited about the idea of going to school, and everyone knew the things you saw on TV were just make-believe.

The bus that arrived to pick me up on my very first day as a little student was olive green. 

Like everything on the military base where my family and I lived, it was the drab, sober color of my father's fatigues. The color of creeping lichen on unfriendly trees –– always a sure sign you were straying too far from home. The color of the musty mildew that sometimes grew in the basement when it got damp.

My mother had insisted school was supposed to be fun –– something I should be excited for –– but I knew better. I knew only too well that school was part of the World, and that the bus was the alien chariot that would take me there against my wishes and better judgment. 

From what I could tell, other kids were curious about the World, and they loved to talk about all the things they would one day do, be, and become out there. But I felt differently. I saw the World for what it surely was –– something huge, limitless even, and terrifying. Something unfriendly and cold that would swallow me whole and eventually make it so I'd never have anything to smile about ever again.

I didn't trust it. I didn't want to be part of it, and I didn't understand why my parents would insist on sending me out into a place like that alone, even if it were just for the day. 

5 Ways the Moon Can Reawaken Your Creativity

Like a lot of people, I've been doing my best over the past several months to cope with everything going on in the country right now. One of the things that's been most helpful is shifting my focus and reconnecting with the seasons, as well as the natural rhythms of the stars and planets –– particularly the moon.

The moon has always been a faithful companion and guide to human beings (especially those with creative tendencies). It pulls the tides, it shifts our moods, and it illuminates paths we might not ever see otherwise. 

For those of us who occasionally lose our way creatively (guilty!), the moon offers a potential gateway back to inspiration and imagination when we need it.

I've been taking full advantage of that gateway lately, as with the new Feast of the Wandering Pen lunar challenge I introduced in yesterday's post. I've also been applying some of what I've learned and adopted to other areas of my life when it makes sense, including in my professional life, my personal life with my partner, and my spiritual life. Here are a few pointers for doing the same.

1. Embrace the Power of Beginnings (New Moon)

I used to think of the new moon as a time of darkness –– a time when the moon was absent from the sky, simply because I couldn't see it. But time, age, and common sense have shown me that that's definitely not the case. The moon's designated spot in the sky may be dark during the new moon, but it's not empty. In fact, a new moon is the perfect time to plant a seed or explore something new. 

You don't need a full plan. You don't even need to be certain about where you'll end up. You just need to plant a seed –– a word, a line, a sketch mark –– and give it a chance to grow into something greater in time.

On Wandering Back (and Wandering Pens)

I've been thinking a lot about this particular blog space lately. I'm in the process of my latest evolutionary stage as a writer (and when am I not evolving along with everything else on the Internet). 

I have a dedicated space for pretty much everything else now – my professional insights, my copywriting samples, my artwork, my monetized essays, and so forth. But I still find myself without a place to write publicly that's just... personal. A place where I write about myself and share all my random meta thoughts about creativity that don't quite go anywhere else. 

Do people even do that online anymore? I'm not sure I even know anymore. 

As a professional copywriter and content creator, I do know what people do when they want to create helpful, business-facing content. But where do they go when they just want to scream into the void in a way that's a little more polished and planned than they would do if they were just writing in their personal journal? Who knows. But I kind of like the idea of finding out. 

At any rate, it felt like it was time to check in here and lay the first brick of a foundation I think will be good for me moving forward, both as a writer and an individual. Eventually, those who like the way I think can come here and follow along if they feel moved to. In the meantime...

On the End of NaNoWriMo

I read recently that National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is officially no more, at least as a yearly event. It's been a while since I was hardcore into participating every year, but NaNo has still played a huge role in my development as a writer over the years. For starters, it taught me how to set and stick to personal deadlines. 

NaNo made me realize just how much you really can accomplish when you set your mind to it, as well, even if you're crazy busy. Even when you're sick to death of your project and really don't know where to go with it next. It's been part of my life for something like 20 years now. I haven't participated every year the way some people have, but it's been nice to know that it was there for me to go back to if I ever needed it. 

On Mindfulness and Stress Management

Zihuatanejo - Shannon Hilson via Midjourney

I've been trying something a little different the past couple of days with my self-care routine, just to see how things go. Seth's brother gifted him a one-year subscription to Calm perhaps a month ago or so, and he's really been liking it -- especially the soundscapes and ambient sounds. So I had him send me a pass for a free one-month trial to see if it's something I might like, too.

I've struggled with issues like anxiety, recurring depression, and frequent overstimulation (due to autism and neuroatypicality) my entire life. Over the years, I've discovered lots and lots of ways to cope with those things and keep them in check so that I can actually function on a semi-normal level. But sometimes I wonder how good a job I'm really doing on a deeper level.

I often think I've reached a place where I feel OK about something but still wind up showing clear signs that I'm actually still pretty anxious about it underneath. 

For example, I was supposed to appear for jury duty last Monday. I knew about it a couple of months in advance, so there was this long period over the holidays that felt like some sort of doomsday countdown. And that wasn't too big a problem until I reached the point where it was maybe a couple of weeks away, then a week, and then just a couple of days.

I wasn't incapacitated by anxiety or anything, as I was definitely living my life and going about my business in every way that really mattered. And for that reason, I told myself, "Oh, I've got this totally under control and feel fine about it." But I realized that probably hadn't been the case when I checked in on the county court site the Friday before my Monday summons date to double-check the time.