On Fiction Writing and Beauty in Middle Age

I can't believe I'm once again over here staring at the tail end of another month. I genuinely don't understand where the time goes or why it goes so quickly. Maybe it really is just something that comes along with being older. This hasn't been my most productive month for various reasons, but I'm hanging in there regardless. 

Luckily, I haven't wholly spaced Camp NaNoWriMo after deciding on a whim to give it a try at the end of last month. I really enjoyed my little journey back into the wide, wonderful world of creative writing back in November. Still, I'd been feeling pretty guilty about not having gotten around to editing any of my work yet. Camp NaNo's been great for that, though, so I'm super glad I went ahead and participated. 

Say what you will about any of the NaNo events, but I've learned not to knock them at this point in my growth as a writer. Not only are they fun and challenging, but they help you cut right through your usual collection of excuses as to why you're not making time for writing projects you say you want to complete. They've shown me what's possible when I put my mind to making it happen, even if I'm genuinely busy.

On that note, I can't seem to stop thinking of even more ideas for wonderful stories I'm sure would be a blast to write. Like NaNo, I thought creative writing was something I'd outgrown over the years and no longer truly enjoyed. This is quite simply not true, and I can tell I'm going to want to start doing it more regularly. I just wish I had somewhere to publish some of these where I could be sure they'd be read and enjoyed. 

At present, I'm playing with the idea of floating a couple out there on Medium here and there just to see how they do. I know P.S. I Love You has a Fiction Friday thing they do, so there must be someone over there who enjoys reading the occasional story along with their daily dose of self-help articles and personal essays. I'm just very excited about rediscovering this side of myself as a writer, and I'm dying to share it with the tiny handful of people who like my things. I suppose it can't hurt. You never know when something will unexpectedly find a larger audience.

On Vaccine Availability and Coronavirus Anxiety

A few days ago, California officially opened up the availability of the coronavirus vaccine to everyone over the age of 16. That means Seth and I can, in theory, go and get ourselves vaccinated as soon as I can get us appointments. In actuality, though, we will probably be waiting at least a little while for some of the rush to die down a bit. The fewer people we have to be around to get this done, the better.

Before the pandemic hit, it had already been many years since I went out regularly. I don't drive or like being around people, so it's almost always easier to stay home and order the things I need online while running my business and handling my other responsibilities around the house. Strangely, though, I never developed any real anxiety about being out in public. If I felt like it, I could easily head out to the county fair, or the beach, or something, have a great time, and probably even want to go back the next day. 

I feel entirely differently about all that today for obvious reasons. Now, when I see other people, I no longer see minorly annoying fellow humans that might -- at worst -- try to suck me into a boring conversation I don't really want to have. I see walking, talking meat-bags filled with germs and death that can absolutely kill me, especially if they're not masked up properly. And I feel like the outside world has become a dangerous place I'm best off avoiding. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I find the idea of getting COVID (or seeing anyone I care about get it) positively terrifying.

In other words, while I'm grateful to be able to have access to a vaccine, I'm hyper-aware of the fact that to get vaccinated in the first place, I will first have to go out unvaccinated into that big, bad world filled with walking, talking germ bags at least twice. And so will Seth. Naturally, I have a lot of anxiety about that on both counts, especially when it comes to Seth. I still have nightmares about the time he almost died in the hospital of pneumonia years ago. I also realize I'm far more worried about him getting sick and leaving me all alone in the world than I am about getting sick myself, although that would also suck.

On Camp NaNoWriMo and Trying On My Editor's Hat

So, I'm doing another creative writing-related thing this month. Admittedly, it's a thing I'm embarrassed to admit I've never done before despite an entire lifetime of writing. I'm actually working with the raw manuscript I created during NaNoWriMo last November to get it edited from start to finish. These days, NaNoWriMo hosts an additional Camp NaNoWriMo event twice a year in April and July, where writers are allowed to set their own goals. I got an email about this year's April event a while back and -- since I, of course, still haven't gotten around to editing my last batch of work under my own power -- I decided to go for it.

Since editing goes a heck of a lot faster than raw writing does, especially when I'm editing my own stuff, I haven't had to be as diligent about doing it every day. (I'm a very clean writer, even when I'm flying by the seat of my pants, so editing is often more like proofreading than anything else.) I've been keeping up really well regardless, though, and have everything a little less than half-done. I'll definitely be able to "win" the event and come out of it with a fully edited collection of short stories. Then they'll all be ready to use, submit, or publish in the future.

I'm starting to feel... almost grown-up these days as far as my writing goes. First, I started making actual money writing things I wanted to write for a change. Now I've not only stuck with a long-form writing project long enough to finish it, but I've also managed to get back to it and tackle the editing. I gave up on the idea of longer writing projects a long time ago, as I thought I didn't have the attention span necessary to finish one. I'm thrilled to see I was apparently wrong about that. 

And the process of reading back through all these little stories has been a pleasant surprise. Most writers complain about going back to old material they've written and finding that they hate every single word of it. I'm having the exact opposite experience. I've been away from these ideas long enough to not entirely remember every little detail of how they play out, so they're almost like new to me. And... they're actually good. Some of them are very good, even if I do say so myself.